Camden’s Birth Story

I’m back! I’m not sure there is anyone out there who even knows this little space of the internet exists but I’m so happy to be finding my way back to it. Being a new mom is rough y’all.. I barely have time to wash bottles and pump parts it feels like but I’ve been thinking A LOT about what makes me me.. and what would help me feel a little more like myself and I think writing does that. I know there is a trend out there of bloggers and mamas sharing their “birth stories” and I think I wanna jump on the bandwagon. Simply because in the short time I’ve been a mom, I’ve realized how valuable it is to learn about and hear others experiences. Not because any one persons experience is right or wrong or better than the others, but because it connects us all in a way that can aid in the reality that we are NOT alone. We are all in this together and some of us have similar stories and some of us have very different ones, nonetheless we are all here. Doing the damn, thing. Amiright?? Ok ok. The birth story. Let me give you a little background on what I had “planned” for.

Let me clarify, I did not have an actual birth plan. Being a medical professional, I knew this wasn’t something I needed or even wanted to have written formally. I KNOW all too well how quickly things change when you think you can control them, especially birth. Zach and I were of the thought process that we would both be on the same page for how we wanted my labor process and Cam’s birth to go, but that our ultimate goal was to bring him earth side safely. Here were goals for labor and delivery:

Labor Hopes: Non-medicated, to labor freely (walking around, in the shower, bouncing on a ball, sitting on the toilet, using a peanut ball, whatever I needed/could do to get that baby out on his own), intermittent monitoring for baby, IV catheter inserted – but not connected to meds or fluids if possible

Birth Hopes: vaginal birth, no episiotomy, delayed cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin, breastfeed within first 30 minutes of life, golden hour before family visitation, delayed bath

Heres what actually happened (with a little back story for reference): Leading up to the birth of our first son, I felt extremely confident that I could birth him unmedicated. I was made for this. I wanted to do exactly what my body was built to do, without medical intervention. Around 37 weeks, my physician measured our baby and told us he was estimated to weigh around 7 pounds at that time (give or take a pound). I was well aware how inaccurate intrauterine growth scans COULD be, but I trust my physician and didn’t let any measurement rattle me. We had no reason to believe that my pelvis couldn’t handle a “big baby”. It was around that appointment that something happened that I was not entirely expecting. Induction was brought up. Our due date wasn’t for three more weeks and because we had agreed that going past 40 weeks was not something we would be doing (for personal purposes regarding the safety of baby) I had thought that we wouldn’t need to discuss induction until we got closer to that date. Without going into too much detail, it became apparent that the reason for induction was NOT medically based and with more discussion and contemplation than I EVER thought I’d have to have, we declined. We agreed we wanted to wait all the way up until our due date before even thinking about an induction. Due to conceiving while using fertility medications, we knew our exact conception date and were confident our due date was not a “guess date” as it is for many moms. It was then that I really started multiple homeopathic/home remedies I had researched to prepare my body for labor (EPO, Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, eating 6-7 dates a day, ball bouncing, long walks.. etc.)

The weekend before our due date was Easter weekend AND there was going to be a full moon, nothing was planned with either of our families because we all knew something could happen at any moment. On Saturday March 31st, Zach and I took a 4 mile walk, in the heat, to try and get. that. baby. out. I was swollen, tired, and felt like my pelvis was going to splinter into two. We rested for a couple of hours after that, and decided to actually get dressed and go to dinner. We ate queso and fajitas at Papasitos and it was glorious. After dinner, we walked the mall for another hour, because you know – get. that. baby. out. I had been having pretty constant Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks, but nothing that felt like the real deal and that night was nothing different. We went to bed and per usual, I woke up around 1 am to go pee. I had also lost most of my mucus plug weeks before but as most 9 month pregnant women do (at least thats what I reassured myself), I had made a habit of checking my underwear for the all telling goo. Nothing. Nada. So I crawled back into bed and woke about an hour later to what I can only describe as feeling like a water balloon pop inside me. It shot me awake and I immediately thought, “there’s no way I just peed myself.” SO I did what any woman in my position would do (right?!), I smelled it. Didn’t smell like pee. Didn’t really smell like anything. So I got up, walked to the bathroom and another rush of water poured out. Ok, this was it. My water broke. I waited for what felt like a million minutes but what probably only 30 seconds to see if I was having any contractions… nothing. At that point I realized I should probably wake Zach up. We were told to go in to the hospital if my water had broken right? When I tell you I have never seen that guy shoot out of bed faster than he did at that moment, he would have won an Olympic medal for his speed. Before I knew it, the lights were on, he was throwing shorts on and the dogs were already let out to pee. I had to slow him down! We called our families to tell them we were on our way in and it was BABY TIME! I kept imaging Camden’s little hand reaching up and popping through my amniotic sack.

Once at the hospital, they had to make sure it was actually my water that had broken and put baby on the monitor to make sure all was good. They didn’t end up even getting to test the fluid because they could see it being pushed out with every BH contraction I was having on the monitor. Because I wasn’t any further progressed (1 cm dilated 90% effaced) than I had been at my last appointment, they had gotten orders from my physician to start me on Cytotec (to induce contractions) and fluids. Because my water had already broken and we were now “on the clock” to get baby out (to reduce the risk of infection for him) we agreed to the medications. The next 12 hours consisted of pelvic crushing contractions and me doing the best I could to breath, walk, and bounce through them. The pain of laboring without the cushion of the amniotic fluid was much more than I could have imagined, but I felt like I was managing. I also couldn’t have done it without Zach. He had his hands on me every single contraction, massaging my lower pack, putting pressure on my hips, helping and supporting me to the toilet and to and from the ball. What I didn’t know at that time, was that Cam was in a posterior position or “sunny side up” meaning he was still head down, but the hardest part of his head was resting near my lower back, instead of my belly. I also didn’t know that he had been having decelerations in his heart rate almost since the time we arrived. In hindsight, I’m pretty disappointed that no one told me about this. As a nurse, patient, and mother, I feel like I wasn’t fully informed and in turn, couldn’t fully process what was about to happen next. A couple nurses had come into my room and told me that my doctor would be in shortly to discuss “my options”.. They wanted me to wear an oxygen mask but didn’t explain to me that it wasn’t for me. It was for Cam. They also wanted me to consider an IV pain medication so that I could “relax”, which in turn would hopefully help Cam tolerate my contractions better, so I agreed to a dose of Stadol. My reaction to the medication was worse than any of the contractions I had been experiencing. I felt like I couldn’t breath.. or wasn’t breathing rather.. it was terrifying and extremely difficult for me to relax through. It was at that point that my physician arrived and mentioned me needing to decide between getting an epidural or a c-section.. or at least thats how I remember it. It was all very hazy due to the dose of Stadol I had been given. Zach and I agreed almost immediately that if those were our options, we would absolutely move forward with the epidural and the anesthesiologist was there within minutes. During the procedure I took a few minutes to mourn the unmedicated birth I had dreamed of and Zach reminded me of our goal. To get our baby earth side safely. We were doing everything in our power to do that, and that was all that mattered. I honestly don’t know how far dilated I was at that point, but I know I hadn’t progressed as much as anyone would have liked during the 12 hours I had been laboring. Once I had the epidural, my physician gave me a couple hours to get some rest. Only my right side had been completely numbed, but I didn’t mind. In a strange way, I felt like it was a small blessing, allowing me to still feel my body laboring instead of completely numbing and paralyzing my lower half. A couple hours after my epidural was placed, my physician returned to have one of those “big” conversations. She mentioned that I wasn’t progressing as quickly as she’d like and that there are “three reasons” that could be causing that: Power (are the contractions strong and efficient enough to move baby down through the birth canal), Passage (is the space available [the pelvis] for the baby to pass through wide enough, and Passenger (which is baby of course! Referring to baby’s size and positioning.) At this point, she was confident that the Power and Passage weren’t the issue but she wanted to assess baby’s positioning. This was where the National Geographic part of my labor story happened and THANK GOD I had an epidural for it all. My physician proceeded to get on top of my bed and stick her arm up to her elbow inside of me. This was also when we discovered that Cam was indeed “sunny side up”, so she took his head in her hand, pushed him back up the birth canal and attempted to turn him face down. According to Zach and our moms, it was pretty wild to watch. I, on the other hand, didn’t really feel a thing. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. Fortunately, that didn’t matter. About an hour after that (for a total of 9 hours of labor WITH an epidural) my doctor returned, checked my cervix and said that it was time to push! From that moment forward, in my world, everything happened so fast. I pushed for an hour (which felt like 10 minutes) and Camden Wade Toth was born, in all his 8 pound 11 ounce glory! We did immediate skin to skin, even though he wasn’t breathing right away, which I am so grateful for. The nurses and my physician rubbed and scrubbed Cam down to get him stimulated and that first cry was pure music. We were also able to delay cord clamping until after he laid on my chest and I got to look into his sweet steel grey little eyes.

It was special and not how I had “planned it” but it was as close to perfect as it was supposed to be. Camden was brought earth side safely, I labored and delivered him safely, and we started our new lives together as healthy mom and baby. He latched on immediately and breastfed like a champ from the get go. He didn’t pass any stool for 48 hours, which caused his bilirubin levels to rise, so our sweet baby had to spend a couple days under the bili lights. We were in the hospital for a total of 5 long days. If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate your interest in our story, I know its been a long winded one. XOXO – JT